Weakening My Worry

June 6, 2016April 9, 2019Leave a comment

True life: I am a habitual worrier.

As much as I attempt to capture and check every thought, many become a part of the whirling sea of guilt and defeat that moves about in my head. I find myself taking these thoughts to the extreme and dwelling in that place as if that’s where I belong, mainly because of my own choices that I wish I had handled differently. But, I recently read something that arrested the worry. It was as if God jumped right in my face like umm..do you not know I have the power? Have I not shown you that even with your mess, my record is good? Like really…who am I to give a thought so much of my energy that it consumes the brain space I could be using to craft new ideas or penning words to inspire generations? I suspect God may have taken my obsessive worrying as an insult. BUT (because God is the Master of conjunct solutions, or in other words, moving mountains on our behalf), He cared enough to use that one sentence I stumbled across as I perused an online article to remind me of Who I say I trust.

Trusting means there’s no room for worry. Because to worry diminishes power. And God isn’t about to let me (or you) get punked by a thought! God is so much bigger, and the sooner we stop boxing Him in, the sooner we can see how gracious He truly is. In no way am I implying that an extension of grace gives us permission to purposely make careless choices. But, asking for help in all of life’s circumstances seems slightly less burdensome when the One you’re approaching doesn’t expect perfection and is still willing to give you an overabundance of grace and mercy. There aren’t enough words to express the significance of that very fact! It’s major! I don’t think there are enough hours in a day to ponder on that goodness. And for that reason alone, my worry is weakened.

Lessons in Blessings

May 13, 2016May 13, 2016Leave a comment

Lightning speed. That’s how fast I feel like every hour in the past 30 days has gone by! I think much of that feeling can be attributed to my work for TEDMED in conjunction with several tight deadlines for major deliverables for my primary job. A few weeks ago I blogged about my selection as a 201 Leaps 6 TEDMED Research Scholar and the opportunity it has afforded me to learn a plethora of new information about innovations and entrepreneurs in health and medicine. There are definitely talented and imaginative people walking among us every day who envision the future of healthcare in creative ways. But, in addition to my scholarly discoveries, I also learned much about myself through this awesome, yet rigorous blessing that I’ve elected to share in hopes that someone will draw some insight or inspiration from my three lessons:

You can do more than what you think you can do – I can’t even begin to count the hours I spent completing my tasks for my role as a scholar. Every night I saw the clock strike 1 a.m., I decided that was the point when I would stop tracking. I had to push myself to stay the course no matter the obstacle. I countered every negative thought with a encouraging scripture or “self” pep talk (Self, please stay away for a few more sentences, lol). To have to juggle what seemed like the MOST tasks all at once was a true test of my faith and trust in God to help me make it all happen. Do you ever feel like you get a ton of random requests when your plate is legitimately full? Yeah, that was me. But, all of this was really an exercise in positivity for my mind. I had to first believe that I could finish before it would be done, and that made all the difference on every late night and early morning.

You have more time than you think to do more of what you need to be doing – I’m guilty of adamantly declaring that there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. There are two problems with that though: 1) why am I trying to do it ALL? and 2) what opportunities have I overlooked to prioritize those things that actually matter? I have no idea where I found the time to absorb, synthesize, and report all of the information I uncovered as part of the TEDMED review. I just know that the entire process has further revealed to me that when your gift makes room for you that means there will be enough time, resources, energy, and even the space (I now know exactly how to get to the library at my job without getting lost, lol) to finish the assignment and finish it well. More importantly, my ability to find the time to complete this task also confirmed my ability to be able to give God more when it comes to my devotions, meditation, and just quiet time growing in faith. Message!

You think you’re ordinary, but God thinks you’re extraordinary – I’m sure you’ve heard people often say that in life you have to take chances or you have to jump to see if you’re going to fly…insert similar statements here. And, well…you do! What I’m discovering about myself and those around me is that we neglect to take leaps because we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We dismiss our gifts, experiences, and talents as if we can’t be chosen to do the unimaginable or that we’re not important enough for our dreams to come true. A couple fun facts to dispel those unreasonable thoughts: 1) you don’t have to be qualified to obtain favor and 2) “importance” is subjective which means that it is a non-factor when something is meant for you. The plans God has for us are exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think. That’s proven every time we find our name on the roster to do things and go places we never thought possible. So, even when you don’t think you deserve the opportunity, go for it anyway and watch God show you that He thinks you’re worth it.

This is a blessing in my life that I surely won’t forget. I appreciate everyone who has invested in me to get me to this moment in my career. I know that God will continue to show His love, kindness, and grace through blessings for all of us. And even in the triumphs, there will always be something to learn.

Monday’s Mantra: Show and Slay

April 12, 2016August 1, 20162 Comments

Whew! I just needed to let that out because the last few weeks have been nothing short of eventful! I recently wrote about how I was about to be full steam ahead into my travel season that would take me to med schools and conferences across the country. What I neglected to consider was all the other parts of life that happen in between, the programmatic fires that would have to be extinguished from time to time, and the riveting surprises that bring success with almost always a side of new responsibility. But, no matter how consumed I am with all the details, I’m somehow invigorated by the challenge. My continued excitement and energy has much to do with God and less to do with me, but I also attribute it to the fact that I’m right where I should be. There was a time in my life where I was literally drained by boredom. I didn’t feel like my gifts, abilities, or knowledge was being utilized effectively. That was painful…like getting your body hair waxed for the first time painful (eek)! I felt undervalued and stuck in many ways. But, thankfully trouble doesn’t last always, and I can now say I’m moving, growing, and building in several arenas.

Last week as I was headed home from a trip, I found myself reciting a phrase that most of us probably know very well…”to whom much is given, much is required” (taken from Luke 12:48) This came following a sleepless night that was spent reviewing a few dynamic entrepreneurs and change seekers vying for a spot at TEDMED – the premiere conference for sharing creative ideas to transform the way we think and do health. As a 2016 TEDMED Research Scholar, I have the privilege and difficult task of helping to develop the TEDMED programming! Super exciting opportunity! But, as I was trying to wrap-up my usual duties from my business trip and still garner what was left of my mental acuity for the day to write a comprehensive review, I definitely had a moment of “what have I gotten myself into?” It’s funny how quickly you begin to doubt your abilities when the mountain before you looks steeper than anything you’ve ever climbed before. Of course that’s easy to overcome with a long prayer requesting angelic toothpicks to hold my eyes open and several bites of a blueberry muffin paired with espresso to keep me hanging on until the final click of the “Submit” button.

You can expect that when you’re in the right place at the right time for receipt of your designated assignments, you will be stretched. It’s part of the package. You will learn the true meaning of sacrifice and be detached from your usual patterns. You will have to do more not just because you’ve been furnished with more, but because you’ve been given all that you need to be more. The days will be long. The caffeine will be in short supply (I mean unless you have 24/7 accessibility to a Keurig). Everything inside you will want to bow out gracefully. But, the show must go on. And if you’re blessed to have a role, your presence is required. In the end, what is given to you deserves your best whether it’s giving a talk, organizing an event, writing a report, or baking for the community fundraiser. I bet you probably asked for this moment at some point after all. So, stay up[lifted], perform well (angelic toothpicks are indeed little miracles!), and believe in the possibility of the standing ovation. You’re only given what you have the ability to slay (you know in the 21st century pop culture kinda way)!

Monday’s Mantra: Save the Sulks

March 29, 2016April 12, 2016Leave a comment

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Even though I don’t come close to being a morning person, I do my best every day to go forth, do great, and forget about my bed that doesn’t seem to want to let me go. My morning routine was business as usual until I realized that one of my favorite pieces of jewelry was missing! *insert music to signal impending doom* Now, I’m very much an analytic, neat freak who makes it a point to put all of my things in the place I’ve designated as their home. So, I knew that if one piece of the jewelry I wear just about every day was in its place, then this particular ring should’ve been there too. That was the rationale I had declared in my mind, but of course that wasn’t reality since I found myself looking all over my room and checking purses and cracks where it couldn’t have possibly been. I had to look anyway.

During this intense 5-10 minute searching spree, my thoughts began to shift to all things negative. Maybe I left it at Lather where I was trying a bunch of skin care options over the weekend (btw…they have great soaps!). Maybe it has been missing a day longer than I actually thought and I’m now noticing. Is it in the vacuum cleaner? Great, it fell out of my car on the ground and it’s now being kissed by oodles of rotating tires. I think I had about 20 thoughts go by in a matter of 30 seconds, all of which were negative. Clearly, I did not awaken with any inkling of victory. While I was grateful to see another day, my actions embodied defeat. I decided that wasn’t conducive to a productive week, so I took all of those thoughts captive and re-focused my energy on my devotional. Plus, I didn’t have anymore time to look up, down, and all around my room with a full day of work ahead of me. My devotional this morning was from Exodus 16 when God gives the children of Israel manna and quail even after their complaints about not having any food. Yikes! Not even a few minutes before I had started reading I was distraught and grumbling about what I had lost too. I’m always amazed how even in this day blessings will come despite our complaints and protests. I felt like that was the perfect message to start my week even after losing my jewelry.

As I was getting ready to leave the house, I decided to check my jewelry box one more time. You’d never believe what I found in one of the small corners that I had looked previously even though I don’t ever put this particular ring there. Sitting right there in that spot was…my ring!!! *insert sigh of relief* I had spent part of my morning being a sourpuss and yet I had overlooked what was right in front of me. *covers face* Ultimately, I’m glad I found my ring, but more importantly, I’m encouraged by my effort to quiet the negativity that is always more of a distraction than it is help to what’s happening in life. Sometimes you have to redirect your energy in order to produce an optimal result. So, whether you’ve misplaced something or you’re struggling to make it over the hump, I urge you to quiet your pessimism. Only then will you begin to find what you’re looking for. Solutions, and I guess rings, tend to hide in unlikely, yet promising places.

Monday’s Mantra: Remember When

March 21, 2016March 29, 2016Leave a comment

It’s amazing how quickly time passes. Can you believe we’re less than 20 days away from the 100^th day of 2016! Over the weekend, I found myself thinking about all that I’ve accomplished so far this year and the many opportunities I’ve had in my short life span. I try to make it a point to do some type of reflection on a regular basis as a way to be reminded and grateful for my blessings. I guess you can say it’s my mental exercise for cataloging my gratitude. Some people choose to make this a written exercise, which I do too. Regardless of your preference, just the act of recalling has a way of helping you plant more seeds of confidence and expectancy for greater.

This weekend’s reflective moments brought me back to the time I was selected to attend the first young adult conference at The Potter’s House about a year and a half ago. I was volunteering as a team leader for the young adult ministry at my church at the time and received a call from one of the ministry leaders inquiring about my interest. The Potter’s House is the mega church in Dallas, TX led by the world renowned Bishop T.D. Jakes. Thousands of people from all walks of life attend this church every week in-person and online. Of course people have their opinions about mega churches, their pastors, clergy lifestyle, etc., but my comments on that are too lengthy for this post. But, I can say from firsthand experience that a church is only “mega” when you sit on the sidelines (again, another post for another day). Although I had heard Bishop Jakes speak on several occasions at my home church, I never thought I’d have the opportunity to hear him speak in his house. I mean Texas is cool, but I don’t get there often.

My trip to this conference turned out to be insightful, engaging, and fun! There were young adults there from countries I may not even get to in my lifetime! From a structural standpoint, the church itself was massive and indeed situated in what seems like the middle of nowhere (I wore flats just about every day)! I met a member of the Planetshakers (the Australian band most known for their song “The Anthem” – a very popular praise and worship song in churches all over the world), acquired good study material, and was able to sit in a front section seat for Sunday service. For anyone who has never attended a service at a mega church, that’s prime real estate! Now, whenever I see The Potter’s House or any of the Jakes’ family on TV programming, I think of that trip and how little ol’ me had a chance to experience all of that. And the best part…it was at no expense to me at all. *insert happy dance*

I can recall so many other moments in my life like this when I’ve had the ability to do things, go to places, and connect with people from other continents. It’s important that we remember where we’ve been and how we may have landed there, particularly as the young adult years begin to pass us by. We need those “remember when” moments for a few reasons: 1) for encouragement as we usher in new phases 2) as the spark that may facilitate a much needed laugh, and/or 3) perhaps as a reminder that all of us can be used to do anything. There may be things, people, and places we all want to be part of our story, but I think it’s imperative that we embrace where we’ve been in order to see the bountiful beauty in blessings big and small.

Monday’s Mantra: Look Up

March 14, 2016March 21, 2016Leave a comment

My travel season for work is now in full swing. That means plenty of airplanes, a strategically organized carry-on, and pre-arranged Apple Music playlists as I move about the country doing my part to improve the medical school experience for current and future medical students and faculty. Airports aren’t necessarily one of my favorite places although I do enjoy traveling to new places, particularly if the exploration is not on my dime 😉 However, it always seems as though most people are in a rush, confused, and allergic to smiling. And for the life of me I can’t figure out why people who have assigned seats on an airplane will crowd the gate just before it’s time for them to board?! Yes, I know you want to make sure there’s a space for your carry-on, but you’re in Zone 3! Ma’am…sir…what are you doing? There are like 75 other people boarding before you that you’ll be standing behind on the jet bridge. Rest yourself and please stop obstructing my perfect view for people watching. Ok, back to the post…

Most people are in their own world when in an airport and in life in general, which makes it easy to miss opportunities that can leave a meaningful imprint in the present surroundings. On a recent trip, I was seated next to a gentleman who was gracious enough to introduce himself and exchange a few kind words before we took off. I must admit I was surprised since I’m used to only hearing complaining passengers and the boisterous voice of the flight attendants over the intercom directing my attention to their safety presentation. But, I appreciated this guy’s conversation, because it meant that he was wise enough to not take life too seriously and capable of setting himself aside to acknowledge the worth of those he encountered along the way. That was light in the middle of my extra long day of flight delays, gate changes, and overpriced sky snacks. The best part about it all was that I had the opportunity to return the kindness.

As we reached our cruising altitude among the cumulus clouds, I saw that he was reading notes printed in incredibly small text. I was engaged in the same enriching activity so I was using my overhead light. Earlier I noticed he had reached up to turn his on as well, so I assumed the shining light on our row was from both lights. After a few minutes of reading, something told me to look up, which is when I saw that the light above was only coming from my side. He had been reading for probably about an hour trying to share my light! Part of me felt badly because I hadn’t noticed sooner and couldn’t do anything to save this guy’s pupils, but all I had was now to make up for it and let him know that I did indeed care that his light had blown out. I proceeded to readjust my light so that it was shining directly on his manuscript. He smiled and expressed his gratitude, and we both continued our in flight activities, which by that time mine had switched to sleeping for me. Although sharing my light was a small act of kindness for someone I’d probably never see again, I knew it was the right thing to do. It was also a good lesson.

We should all be mindful of those opportunities we have to brighten someone’s outlook. So, whether it’s to help someone see what they’re reading or maybe see where they’ve gotten off the path, be the one who illuminates this fast-paced, and sometimes brash world with your light of tenderness, joy, and thoughtfulness. Seat backs and tray tables up. We’re ready for takeoff toward another week of an amazing journey!

Monday’s Mantra: Keep Your Zest

February 29, 2016March 14, 2016Leave a comment

Who would have thought I’d find a little nugget of wisdom in a kitchen gadget? I swear wisdom is all around you if you’re awake and conscious of every day moments. Last week I elaborated on what it meant for me to be whole and shared a few of my cooking creations in my attempt to get better acquainted with my dinner table. And this week as I thought about how I would maintain my chopping and sautéing momentum, I remembered the one gadget that would take my marinade to the next level! It’s one of the easiest to manipulate and clean. It also aids in producing a smell so incredibly crisp and fresh that’s to die for. Ok, please don’t die. My friends, ask yourself if you have a lemon zester! If you don’t, Homegoods will be expecting you. I honestly think they named it a lemon zester not just because it easily peels off the skin of perfectly round and bright citrus fruits, but also because the aroma literally induces excitement (hence the reason citrus scents show up in a ton of products)! I implore you to get one and find a reason to use it!

As I was rolling the lemons around the zester, I noticed that despite my careful inspection of the fruit in the grocery store, they still had a few imperfections. I then began to think of how I’ve used this one fruit for so many things. Got a pimple? Use a lemon. Sore throat making you miserable? Use a lemon (in your tea). Getting ready for your spring cleaning? Use some lemons! Need a pick me up? Slice a lemon. The list goes on and on! I admire versatility in fruit…and people too of course. In this moment, I found myself thinking that lemons are a lot like people. In spite of our imperfections, we can still be used to do and become a host of great things. Our uniqueness is what keeps the universe energizing and delightful. In addition, we all have an opportunity to use our gifts to bear fruit in many areas of life. And despite our scars, we can still choose to be bright and refreshing in all that we do.

The only things that should be losing their zest this week are the lemons for your marinade or cake or cleanser or…fill in the blank. Don’t let opposition or opinions dim your shine. So, be like a lemon — Stay vibrant. Be flexible. Embrace your cool.