Monday’s Mantra: Do More Little Things

July 3, 2018April 9, 2019Leave a comment

Two years ago, I became an independent jewelry designer for a company that’s built on doing more of what you love with the people you love. As a charms based company, there’s an extensive selection of charms that represent family, hobbies, seasons, sports, and much more. But, my favorite charms in the collection are the engravables, because they can be customized with dates, initials, names, and quotes. These are particularly appealing to me, because they’ve given me the opportunity to wear my values on my wrist. Each time I look down I can be reminded of what I believe and stand for.

My most prized engravable is my hematite geo bar that reads, “little things.” If you’ve been following my posts over the years, you probably know that I base my life on the little things. For me, the small gestures of kindness toward myself, my presence for the celebratory and even non-celebratory moments for loved ones and friends, and the thoughtful gifts that I curate or purchase is what brings me the most happiness. I try to be intentional about the way I care for myself and those in my life by not being consumed with flashiness. Instead I purposely choose to invest my time, energy, and being into what makes my soul smile. Some days that might mean that I stand outside and listen to the whistle of the wind, go to the library to see if my knowledge of Dewey Decimal System is up to par (yes, I know what that is!), or randomly mail a card to someone letting them know I’m proud of what they’re doing. I do this because I’ve recognized that it’s the small things that we often take for granted that bring delight to our days and a boost to who we are as human beings. When we remove our focus from the little things it’s easier to become overwhelmed, overworked, and overly consumed by materialistic or shallow things and feelings. That instantly robs us of the ability to appreciate our blessings and privileges.

If I could give one piece of life advice, I’d say do more of the little things. That could come in the form of saying “no” when you know you’re not really committed, finally booking the plane ticket for the vacation you’ve never taken because you don’t want to get behind, not feeling guilty for leaving work on time so you can grab dinner with friends, devoting a portion of your day to pursuing your passions, calling the family member you haven’t heard from in a while, or eating the slice of cheesecake because you want to celebrate an accomplishment. The truth is that all of those little things will be the peace that you’ve likely searched for in other places. Everything we do doesn’t have to be big, bold, and witnessed by the masses. But, everything we do should be a collective representation of every little thing that makes us stress less and cherish more of what we love while we’re here.

All the Places a Plane Goes

January 5, 2018Leave a comment

Last year, I crisscrossed the United States more than a few times and traveled overseas. As my Nana would affectionately say, “Girl, you have a lot of miles on your butt!” Much of my travel is attributed to my professional life, but whether I’m learning about new innovations at medical schools or enjoying time off, I look for the small beauties in new places and things. That can be anything from –

Exotic tree branches or flowers that collectively produce fragrant winds or shade under the California sun;
The fullness of the trees along the perimeter of Olympic Park in Georgia;
The perfectly aligned bales of hay along the South Dakotan flatlands;
The trio of sail boats slowly cruising along the river in Wisconsin;
The presence of the sun’s shadow as it radiates among Nevada’s popular skyscraper hotels;
The sensory jolt from the Cajun spice, vibrant jazz tunes, and boisterous locals in Louisiana; or
The smell of bread and pastry dough from Parisian or Italian cafes along narrow cobblestone streets.

I have definitely been fortunate in my ability to move about the world and explore the definition of life through someone else’s eyes. In each of these places, I’ve met enthused, indifferent, lively, subdued, and impolite people. All with a story (perhaps some far too long for my typical abbreviated Uber rides). All with a perspective. And all with a personal connection to the geographic location in which I managed to temporarily house my suitcase and carefully organized work binder and fact books. But, what I take away from all of my recent travels is the greatness of creation – of things to look at, paths to trek, and conversations with other beings. Because life is not about the number of places you can say that you’ve been but the quality of the connections you make to your surroundings. Hats off to a great year of discovery…and food! Phenomenal food!

New Year, No Resolutions

January 1, 2017January 5, 20211 Comment

“Living” – 2016bestnine

I stopped making New Year’s resolutions a few years ago. It seemed extremely counterintuitive to keep setting lofty goals that I would likely abandon before making it past the first 30 days of the year. There I was thinking that resolutions were supposed to get me pumped and excited about all that I was convinced I was going to accomplish while not once considering that perhaps the ingredients to this particular life recipe wasn’t something I would be good at cooking. I stopped making New Year’s resolutions and started taking on my dreams and joys in Twix fun size pieces (fitting of course since it’s my favorite candy). No longer would I subject myself to believing that on this one day out of the year was I required to critically think about how to make my life better. Was I not equipped to do this on a regular basis? Is champagne and confetti somehow supposed to ignite an everlasting superpower that will make me want to run to the gym, open an IRA, eat more carrots, save my change from a Hamilton, sail the ocean blue (yeah right, I’m all about the Boeing), tell people who are simply taking up space to go fly a kite…I mean you get the picture. In my mind, that was a puzzle with a ton of missing pieces.

My “one day at a time”/nix the resolutions philosophy couldn’t have been more real than in 2016. Sans a whole lot of details, I can tell you that you begin to understand the multitude of privileges in each day when you wake up with pressure cuffs on your legs in the hospital, lose teammates to reorganizations, have to let go of relationships, get awakened by a phone call from the paramedics, and see a loved one intubated in the middle of a room that’s inhabited by professional strangers on a routine schedule. All of that was my 2016. And it reconfirmed my personal need to take each day in stride while taking on tasks fitting of the success for one specific day. So, whether that has meant slipping away to write one page for a multi-chapter book, buying enough food to cook meals for three days of the week as opposed to five, or spending 20 minutes catching up with a friend between meetings instead of listening to Alessia’s “Wild Things,” I’ve opted for the celebratory factor of crushing the small tasks to get me closer to the fulfillment of my own happiness.

It’s funny because on my 2016 vision board I had pasted the word “living” that I’m sure I cut from some fashion or home and garden magazine (I swear those things are magnets for cobwebs; we all know spiders ruin my life). I wanted to see those six letters every day so I could get about the business of embracing my sometimes ordinary yet often unpredictable journey that I had the power to fill with some of what I hoped for. Little did I know what meaning that word would take on throughout the year literally and figuratively. But, through the highs and the lows, I can say the days were more bearable and exhilarating because I chose to consider what I needed to do or how I could be better for the very moment in which I was breathing.

A new year will happen every 365 days whether we have new year’s resolutions ready or not. And the “new you” intimation that gets thrown around like that brown thing on Sundays happens in all of those days in between. Because it’s the tiny victories in a single day that are resolved into a living, thriving, and happy being whose inscription will sparkle well beyond the stroke of midnight.

Happy New Year, friends! xo

Monday’s Mantra: Don’t Take It Personal

October 25, 2016February 16, 2024Leave a comment

I think I deserve a pat on the back for growth. Rarely do I ever toot my own horn about anything, but nowadays I have to celebrate the fact that I’ve made some strides in a rewarding direction. There used to be a time when I would take everything personally. The weight of a conflict, letdown, or confrontation was a burden that I believed had everything to do with me and how I may have initiated or reacted to the disturbance. I often proceeded to carry the blame for things that I should’ve let fall away like the leaves from a tree on a brisk autumn day (is it just me or did this season waltz in quickly like it’s ready to put on a show stopping performance?). While I may not have held any grudges toward the parties involved, I allowed myself to be far too consumed with the ways in which things had escalated and why someone could be so discourteous with little regard for my feelings. I think one of the reasons why I’m not too fond of merry-go-rounds is because I had one that was constantly spinning in my head. I’d go round and round with myself only to feel irritable and drained once I decided the ride in my brain was closed for the day.

It only took a few years for me to learn that a surefire way to exhaust your peace is to walk around being angry and offended. I’ve lived long enough to know that there will be people in life who will do and say things that will make you scratch your head or want to let out a few expletives (again, God is not finished with me yet!). There will be words that sting and actions that hurt. But, you can’t take it personally. The truth is that most of the time people’s responses have nothing to do with you. This is why you’ll find yourself in situations with people where the apology or discussion you want will never come. You’ll be told a lie before they realize you would’ve respected them more with the truth, and you may even have to settle with being wrong when all the evidence says you’re right. And guess what? You can’t take it personally. People respond in life based on their individual experiences and perceptions. Some responses will be favorable and some you’ll wish they had been counseled on before you crossed their path. Either way it’s not something you can control since God works on all of us in different ways and at a different pace. Why give energy to what you can’t control when it’s a battle you were never meant to fight?

I can assure you that the less you take personally, the more years you’ll add to your life. So, stop being mad and start being mindful of what you allow to rest in your spirit. Everything and everyone isn’t meant for you to handle. And something tells me you weren’t meant to slay other people’s giants!

I Choose My Peace

September 18, 2016October 16, 2016Leave a comment

garden of peace If I had a choice between $1 million and my peace, I’d choose my peace. First off, $1 million isn’t a lot of money once Uncle Sam gets his cut. Secondly, peace can stay with me for the duration of my life; if you don’t make money work for you, then eventually it runs out. I don’t ever want to be in a place where I no longer have my peace. That tranquility. That stillness. That unshakable love for who I am and where I am (and even where I’m not). Those are all things that money can’t buy, keep you happy, or plugged into the miracles of life. I look for peace in everything. And with age I’ve learned how critical it is to make a concerted effort to be peace, give peace, and accept that peace isn’t always going to look like you have the upper hand.

To be peace means that you choose to approach each day with gratefulness and an expectant heart for that which is good. Every minute of every hour is not going to be something to write home about. The volatile details that make up our lives can be challenging, annoying, and unnerving. But, allowing those things to alter your attitude and drain the delight from your character will not change the story. You have to be intentional about maintaining the energy that makes you bright, bold, and bountiful in your love for the delicate tapestry of your being.

To give peace means that you choose your battles. I can think of more than a few things and offenses in my life that didn’t warrant a response or reaction, but I gave one. And what exactly did that do besides cause a volcanic eruption of emotions between all parties involved? I’d venture to say…nothing. Sometimes it’s best to let things pass right on by. And it’s not because you don’t have valid points, but because making those points is going to infringe on the harmony you need to be a better human. In that moment, there’s so many more things of importance.

To accept that peace isn’t going to always look like the odds are in your favor means that you understand everyone you encounter is walking a path that you don’t know much if anything about. Living ain’t easy, and all of us govern our lives according to our personal experiences. The fact that we process and internalize differently can sometimes lead to rifts in relationships because we all want to be understood. But, typically no one understands why we are who we are until the dust settles. Frankly, some people have a little more living to do before they know what it means to give peace. You have to be attuned to the concept of loving people where they are to tap into the peace of what it means to win the war instead of exhausting all of you on the battle. A lot about life isn’t about you, and 99% of the time people know when they’re wrong. So, when you have to be the mirror, be patient enough for people to see their reflection. Accept that you haven’t lost anything or been forgotten. You’re really a lifeline for someone who probably hasn’t had the courage to divulge and embrace they’re imperfections.

A life without peace is a life without joy. And if you don’t have joy, then you simply don’t have life. So, as long as I’m here, I choose peace because with that there are mountains I can climb, roads I can travel, seeds I can plant, and no limit to the skies that I can touch.

Monday’s Mantra: Show Up for You!

August 29, 2016November 17, 2016Leave a comment

It’s about time some of us learned how to be selfish. I know that’s prohibited and doesn’t sound all that compassionate or “churchy,” but that’s because it’s not meant to be either one of those things. Women, in particular, don’t spend enough time loving who they are and celebrating what they do. Instead we’re out here stressing ourselves to the max trying to

make our homes look like something from HGTV,

cook meals to satisfy a few picky palates,

refrain from being seen as “that employee” in the board room who goes against the status quo because you have a few non-conventional ideas,

make our selfies look like we’re having the time of our lives every weekend

and find the right outfit for a date with a stranger we’ve somehow been convinced we absolutely must impress because the holidays are coming and our eggs are vanishing one by one.

Well, that’s all fine and good until you recognize that you’re doing all of that for other people, and you’re basically a non-factor in the equation.

This week I challenge you to show up for y-o-u! It’s not a bad thing for you to want to do something for yourself…to say no because you don’t feel like it…to spend your lunch break actually taking a break…to leave people behind who choose to act oblivious of your feelings…to confront who and what is giving you pause…to believe for a dream that’s so big that you have to chuckle…to let him figure out how you manage to make dinner, monitor homework, and pack lunches simultaneously (that’s what I call bad-assery!..he has no idea)…to take yourself out for dinner and pinot because you know you’re not desperate…to go outside and let out a scream because life is hard…to get in the car and just ride with no particular destination simply because you want to enjoy the scenery…to stop apologizing for how you feel…to present your business idea to the investors…to soak up every moment for what it is and continue handling life like a boss. Every day you have to live with you. If you don’t ever invest anything into understanding what helps you to be great, everything you do, attract, and care for will be below average. So, yes, do for others, but do for you too!

Monday’s Mantra: Live

August 1, 2016August 29, 2016Leave a comment

It has been a while since I posted a mantra for the week, but hopefully you’re following my blog and have seen some of my recent posts on my Inspire page. No days off here. 🙂 This week my encouragement is simple:

Live – let your thoughts and actions be productive and good. It’s very easy to become discouraged or feel depleted when there’s so much going on around us every day. But, like I’ve said on several occasions before, life is really short. Get busy doing what brings you joy, shines some light on the somber places of your soul (and maybe that of others’ too), and what makes you feel like a kid again. Adulthood is taxing and routine. We forget that life is meant to be enjoyed. And although I may not know what “living” means for you, I would guess that it’s something you haven’t been doing. Don’t let the complexities of this life keep you from drawing near to the simplicity and priceless treasure of taking in all there is to your humanness.
Lead – by now, you’ve probably realized that sometimes people will disappoint you. If it hasn’t happened yet, just keep living! Even if it takes everything you’ve got to respond in a way that doesn’t defame them or show your disdain, take the high road. It might not make any sense now, but I promise in the long run it pays to be the compassionate and sensible example. You’re probably the water needed to refresh, renew, and repurpose someone who has never fully seen what leading with love looks like. Be the fountain. Be the spring. Be the reason new and better buds finally blossom.