Romanticizing Our View

I’m unsure when it happened, but one day, it clicked for me that romanticizing your life is the biggest if not one of the most essential life hacks. In a world and a time where it’s deemed “better” to always be doing something fresh, novel, exhilarating, or leading you to what someone else defines as success, it’s easy to forget that getting to experience ordinary, uneventful days that you can shape is such a blessing. Over the last several months, I’ve made it a point to own my moments and opportunities to be jazzed by my daily life activities and rituals. Why? Because the majority of our days are not going to be a full 10 on the excitement meter…unless we make them that way. If we were actually rating days, I’d propose that any day you wake up to see already started at a 10 even if it didn’t include winning a prestigious award, enjoying tropical fruits on a faraway island, or getting the last available chocolate glazed donut for the morning at the bake shop. The reality is monotony is often a part of life and getting to live in those simplistic moments is a privilege. To recognize and honor that, I started creating space to be much more mindful and celebratory of those moments that furthered my happiness and love for what I get to do. For me, it has looked like —

Buying myself flowers and making what I’d say are very pretty arrangements for stems that were once shelved by the broccoli and brussels. I learned some time ago that while it’s incredibly sweet when someone else gives you flowers, doing it for yourself is an act of self-love and admiration. Don’t let the only time you celebrate you be because someone else did it.

Making French press coffee in the morning sometimes because it’s not an instant process and that alone helps me avoid what feels like a rushed start to the day. Do know that beakers and a dishwasher don’t go together, so you’ll need time…plenty of it.

Trying a new recipe that requires a little strategic planning on your next grocery run yet isn’t too far off from the normal items you’d buy. Sorry not sorry, but I’m not buying a spice that’s only available at a specialty store and good for one dish. But…I will buy the Italian tomatoes that will taste divine with my hand grated parmesan.

Using dinner plates that I would normally only eat on if I was hosting guests. I’m here to confirm that snow peas taste better on the pretty plates and weekdays are made for recycled paper ones.

Finding shops that curate collections of vintage glassware and vases. Whether thrift, locally owned boutique, or antique, I’m there. Simply browsing is therapeutic for me and a way to slow time that’s already frozen in a decade of dishes.

Lighting the candles I’ve collected and convinced myself that I should save for some sort of special occasion not realizing that now is the special occasion. Now what kind of scents does that make?

Taking the scenic route home just to have more time to listen to and sing my favorite songs in the car. They’re always better in the car. Always. Carpool karaoke is life. IYKYK.

Diffusing essential oils in my room or bathroom to channel lavender and jasmine serenity. Because spa vibes without needing to travel anywhere is everything. It’s also a weeeee bit cheaper.

Surrounding myself with a jazz ballad or classical piano sonata that makes me feel like I’m in an elevator or waiting room. That’s until the songs transition to the latest bop because going from Mozart to Megan is very possible on my playlist.

Putting on mascara and perfume during the work week for my own personal pizazz. Look good, smell good, do good! A motivational motto.

Getting lost in the library or bookstore for an unknown amount of time because I wait until the spirit moves me to leave. And because I’m usually enchanted by the world of words, a warm beverage adds a little dash of delight (but not at the library because rules…please abide).

Laughing with people at the food or clothing store because we’re looking for deals we probably won’t find and somehow we end up in a dialogue over fruits in season or wide leg trouser trends. I’m one of those people who will be minding my own business and someone will start telling me all their stories or ask for advice. Not sure if it’s my smiley nature or a magnetic force, but to be in harmony with other humans is to be alive. And you always get to decide the energy you’re going to bring to an interaction. Just know it’s hardly random or chance because God specializes in perfect placements.

All of this and so much more is a montage of what I deem as sacred presence…of life and of love. May this be a reminder that the allure of your being is you, and the lens you choose to view your every day sets the tone of your life experience. What’s in your view?

You Can Choose Regard

Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come. I can remember earlier in 2023 feeling like I was standing in the middle of a maze with no idea if there was indeed a fulfilling path to follow. Some days there was a burst of motivation to figure it out; other days everything seemed to be moving in slow motion or not at all. It was a feeling I hadn’t previously experienced in this capacity. And it didn’t take me long to determine that whatever strategies I had employed in the past to see me through weren’t going to work for this because…burnout. The ugly ‘b’ word. Although juggling and the diversification of life’s happenings have always had a starring role in my story, this was beyond that. It was a wall that I couldn’t scale anymore. It was a constant overwhelm of WTHs. It was honestly a joy stealer. And the latter was enough for the light bulb to go off, because I love my joy. Ain’t nothing stealing that!

Burnout had become more than exhaustion for me. It started to chip away at my mental clarity. At my desire to persevere. At my intention to see the glass half full. Much of that was attributed to many life transitions happening simultaneously and trying to stay above water. I’m no swimmer, but I can tell you that no one can tread forever. And as I sit here and reflect on the days of 2023 that are now in the rearview, I know I’m a far cry from where I began. I have my faith, my therapist, my coach, and my consistency to thank for that because what tried to steal my joy failed at that mission. If I learned nothing else last year and even now, it’s that many things can be true at the same time. Ultimately, (with my structured reinforcements and supports as mentioned), that’s what slowly caused my burnout to dissipate. I started understanding the layers of what was draining me at the granular level while also centering every moment and experience that lifted me. Some of that centering led me to festivals, paradise, new states, and food…because I’m always going to have a love-love relationship with delectable dishes. It also led me to nurturing current and new connections, guilt-free days of nothingness, and self-advocacy. But, most importantly, the centering centered me. And as a selfless being by nature (I once heard my friend describe it as ‘loyal to a fault’), I’m taking on 2024 with burnout behind and me at top of mind. Things are different because I’m different and I think different. I also considered it a win having both my therapist and coach confirm the shifts they’ve observed from their vantage points over the course of our time together.

May the days ahead be a reflection of us showing ourselves that many things will continue to be true at the same time. Let them also represent a declaration of our personal commitment to joy that honors who we are at our core and not allowing that to fall by the wayside. Because to have joy is to show regard and compassion for yourself. That is the seed that we must first water before we can properly extend our blooms to others.

The Subtlety of Stories

It’s true when they say time will sail beyond if you don’t stop to look around. With less than 30 days left in this year, I find myself stopping in moments a whole lot more to witness the day’s wonders and live through the breaths I have the opportunity to take. In doing so, I’ve recently felt the subtle joy from

Bubbles escaping the window of the car next to me at a red light…that made me smile

My angels speaking to me through repetitive numbers on the clock, speedometer, receipts, and off ramps

A colorful flower dancing from side to side in the wind

A canopy of the fall season draping over my car as I looked up to the sky on a country road less traveled with sister company

Surprise packages on my doorstep at times when I wasn’t looking for anything but needed a heart

The friendliest welcome and big smile from the Trader Joe’s grocer who bagged my flowers with an extra touch of kindness

The happiness in my friend’s voice when introducing me to mochi donuts and durian…the latter that made me twist my face in unpleasant shock (try for yourself though)

My grandpa’s usual reply that “he’s knocking along for an old man” when I ask how he’s doing

Traveling along a familiar road and suddenly noticing a sign of my grandma’s presence

A case of the FaceTime giggles during homework time with my bayou babies

Walking the cobblestones in a new city and expecting to discover a gift shop or snack to remember

Rotating holiday lights on someone’s wheelchair as we eagerly awaited the Christmas parade featuring a famous mouse

A new mug with pretty perfect colors or a witty phrase calling my name from the shelf in a store I frequent more than I’d like to admit

Works of art depicting the vastness of the color wheel and a nod to discovery through books

It’s so easy to think everything in life is supposed to be a long story to tell. But, the length matters not as the takeaway shall always be that the author is alive to be a part of the story.

Stop. Notice. Look for the stories. They’re in the subtlety of what can easily sail by.

Clap For Yourself

To land on the other side of an intense year unscathed is nothing short of a blessing. I was tried on every side and certainly had moments when I thought I’d fold. But, I didn’t. My word for 2021 was “thrive.” Little did I know when I chose and meditated on that word that it would require me to be strong when I had little to give and that I’d have to ride a ton of waves of uncertainty all while believing that I wouldn’t succumb to volatile drifting tides. To thrive is “to grow or develop vigorously.” Take that a step further and you recognize that “vigorous” is characterized as energetic and forceful. I’d say that this year’s experiences lived up to the description with many lows and highs.

I did things and moved in the ways that made me step up and step out. None of it was to have a boastful story to tell. That’s not how I roll. But, all of it was to refill the cup that I have successfully managed to drain over the years by overdoing it with compromise and choosing one time too many to diminish my desires. I am an unconsciously selfless person. Now, you might think that’s admirable. And in a way, it is. However, if you’re not careful, it also means that it’s easy for imbalances to go unchecked. When that happens, you can sometimes place less emphasis on what works for you because you’re in a perpetual state of being there for everyone and everything except yourself. Well, I made it a point in 2021 to choose me and not feel guilty or weird about it. I’d like to profess that it was a rather simple personal order, but that would be a laughable lie. I had my moments when I slipped back into my old patterns of it’s a small sacrifice or you know what I can say less and wait a little longer on that. However, I had more moments when I was like nah, I choose me or go big or go home, girl. In fact, it makes me think of a GIF that I sent to a friend to symbolize my declaration to self that I wasn’t playing small or with people about my feelings or pursuits.

Here’s to doing me!

I dedicate this year’s manifestations of prosperity in my thoughts, my home, my career, my relationships, my sorority life, my cooking (I came. I saw. I killed it with more than a couple recipes.), and a host of dope experiences to my silent prayers, loyal friends, pools of tears, countless calls to my mom, supporters who carried me, and God’s winks. I thrived because of it all. And for that, I’m not entering 2022 with a list of resolutions. Those never worked for me. Instead, I’m here with a chilled glass of La Marca clapping vigorously for myself because what was supposed to stop me only helped me to level up in the best ways possible. Cheers!

If you do nothing else this year, do you for you! And then clap for yourself about it! Happy New Year, friends! xo

Flourishing Evolutions

The thing about water is that it can saturate or sprinkle. Last year, the focus was pouring water on everything that kindled unproductive resistance for my being. Some days the pour was heavy and I instinctively put up the umbrella. Other days I embraced the dew from the mist or soak. Nothing about it was easy.

The world will tell you that watering is simple and you should have an automatic watering system. The part they omitted is that watering is a meticulous process that requires your attention and care to preserve and promote life. Yielding optimal results takes patience, nurturing, and understanding of seasonal water flow to perform the appropriate adjustments that will make the most difference for the gardener and harvest. In other words, you can’t rinse, run, and hope that something grows!

Through the big and small showers, I was reminded that to stand the rain is to summon the rainbow. And for Chapter 36, that means my renewal of mind, body, and spirit changes everything. Shall we bloom?

A Note of Thanks

Thank you. There are a million other sites where you could spend time perusing content, but you’ve chosen mine. I’ve had this blog for several years. Though it has changed over time, I’m still always surprised and humbled when people inquire about it or follow it. Some of you have been with me since the beginning and know me pretty well in real life. Others found me among the creative seas from the opposite side of the globe and decided to take a chance on someone new. No matter who you are, I want you to know that I’m a real person behind the computer who cares deeply about the words I post here. More importantly, I’m a person who cares about you. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded and distracted with content representing every facet and genre. Some for good. Some for bad. But, you can always count on this being a place of calm, light, and love. Because that is literally what I strive to be in my waking moments and desire to put into the world. I send you my sincere gratitude for your embracing energy and positive posture about life that continuously renews my confidence to have this exchange with you through this medium. Whether near or far…friend or stranger…you are the nutmeg in my writing recipe…my most important and forever favorite ingredient. My inspiration.

Love always,

Bella Reese

Resolution Rebel

Three years ago, I wrote about my ceasing of New Year’s resolutions. I’m happy to report that I still don’t make them. I also don’t judge anyone who does. In fact, I celebrate one’s willingness to use it as an opportunity to be intentional. It takes guts! However, I’ve simply chosen to be honest with myself about what works for me. We weren’t meant to be and do the same things in the same way; that’s the beauty of humanity. My mindful alternative is mantras. Sometimes I’ll set mantras that I may stick with for a day, a week, or the year. I give myself flexibility, because I create my own rules. After all, mantra setting is about shaping the narrative in one’s own mind. There are so many things firing off up there on a daily basis alongside life’s real-time shenanigans that applying somebody else’s rules is unreasonable.

A recurring 2020 mantra for me was “You matter.” I leaned on it heavily and all the special beings who ensure that I never stop believing it. Since you’re here, it’s also my not so subtle message to you. Your attention to this post is not an accident. May it bring you unspeakable warmth that you didn’t know you needed.

Whether I devote my energy to a mantra or establish small, realistic goals for a specified time period, my focus continues to be on presence. I think 2020 empowered many to prioritize how we define living and identify those spaces that needed oxygen. For some of us, that may have been self-care or family. For others, it may have been boundaries or business. Though there’s much we’re glad to leave behind, I hope that in this new year you don’t forget everything that helped you breathe.

Happy New Year, friends! xo