Lessons in Blessings

May 13, 2016May 13, 2016Leave a comment

Lightning speed. That’s how fast I feel like every hour in the past 30 days has gone by! I think much of that feeling can be attributed to my work for TEDMED in conjunction with several tight deadlines for major deliverables for my primary job. A few weeks ago I blogged about my selection as a 201 Leaps 6 TEDMED Research Scholar and the opportunity it has afforded me to learn a plethora of new information about innovations and entrepreneurs in health and medicine. There are definitely talented and imaginative people walking among us every day who envision the future of healthcare in creative ways. But, in addition to my scholarly discoveries, I also learned much about myself through this awesome, yet rigorous blessing that I’ve elected to share in hopes that someone will draw some insight or inspiration from my three lessons:

You can do more than what you think you can do – I can’t even begin to count the hours I spent completing my tasks for my role as a scholar. Every night I saw the clock strike 1 a.m., I decided that was the point when I would stop tracking. I had to push myself to stay the course no matter the obstacle. I countered every negative thought with a encouraging scripture or “self” pep talk (Self, please stay away for a few more sentences, lol). To have to juggle what seemed like the MOST tasks all at once was a true test of my faith and trust in God to help me make it all happen. Do you ever feel like you get a ton of random requests when your plate is legitimately full? Yeah, that was me. But, all of this was really an exercise in positivity for my mind. I had to first believe that I could finish before it would be done, and that made all the difference on every late night and early morning.

You have more time than you think to do more of what you need to be doing – I’m guilty of adamantly declaring that there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. There are two problems with that though: 1) why am I trying to do it ALL? and 2) what opportunities have I overlooked to prioritize those things that actually matter? I have no idea where I found the time to absorb, synthesize, and report all of the information I uncovered as part of the TEDMED review. I just know that the entire process has further revealed to me that when your gift makes room for you that means there will be enough time, resources, energy, and even the space (I now know exactly how to get to the library at my job without getting lost, lol) to finish the assignment and finish it well. More importantly, my ability to find the time to complete this task also confirmed my ability to be able to give God more when it comes to my devotions, meditation, and just quiet time growing in faith. Message!

You think you’re ordinary, but God thinks you’re extraordinary – I’m sure you’ve heard people often say that in life you have to take chances or you have to jump to see if you’re going to fly…insert similar statements here. And, well…you do! What I’m discovering about myself and those around me is that we neglect to take leaps because we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We dismiss our gifts, experiences, and talents as if we can’t be chosen to do the unimaginable or that we’re not important enough for our dreams to come true. A couple fun facts to dispel those unreasonable thoughts: 1) you don’t have to be qualified to obtain favor and 2) “importance” is subjective which means that it is a non-factor when something is meant for you. The plans God has for us are exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think. That’s proven every time we find our name on the roster to do things and go places we never thought possible. So, even when you don’t think you deserve the opportunity, go for it anyway and watch God show you that He thinks you’re worth it.

This is a blessing in my life that I surely won’t forget. I appreciate everyone who has invested in me to get me to this moment in my career. I know that God will continue to show His love, kindness, and grace through blessings for all of us. And even in the triumphs, there will always be something to learn.

If I Can Help Somebody

February 8, 2016July 19, 20176 Comments

I had quite the number of “firsts” over the last several days. I’d love to spend the next few paragraphs documenting my safari adventures in Africa or grape smashing in Italy, but then you’d be walking in my imagination instead of reading the truth. Part of me struggled with the idea of sharing this story not because I have anything to hide, but because I like to keep my personal life…personal. I choose not to spill tea on my timeline particularly about my own life. *shrug* However, I decided to write about my experience this past week because it may save someone’s life. It’s an assignment that’s bigger than me and any feeling I have about being private. Here’s some context…

I can now say that for the first time in my life I’ve had a biopsy, CT scan, been transported in an ambulance, been admitted to the hospital, and seen what an operating room actually looks like all within a week. And yes, the room really looks like what you see on TV! It feels like a freezer, the doctors scrub in, and they even listen to music. But, save yourself the visit and just take it from me. I think all of these “firsts” are starting to sink in for me now that I’m home and feeling like myself again. But, just a few days ago, I endured several agonizing moments.

I had a scheduled liver biopsy about a week and a half ago due to elevated LFTs (liver function tests) that surfaced some time ago during a routine physical exam. After being tested for everything under the sun, the biopsy was the last course of action to determine the reason for the elevation. I was freaked out about the entire thing since I had never had any similar issues and was otherwise a healthy adult. I spent about a month contemplating if it was the right decision. After much thought and prayer, I decided to have the procedure done, because I didn’t want to be in a position where there was something I could’ve done about a potential serious issue that I avoided simply because I was scared. Sometimes you have to do it afraid. Plus, I knew this was one of those times in my life where God was testing how much I was willing to release control and not allow the fear of the unknown to lead me into a state of worry and defeat. Why? Because I worry…a lot.

The procedure itself was relatively painless and went well. I was back to my daily activities within 24 hours and awaiting the results. The preliminary report indicated there were no issues with my liver, but they also still didn’t have an answer for the abnormal LFTs. I was a mystery. And I was willing to accept that. Sometimes you don’t get the answer you want in the way you want it. That doesn’t mean that’s how the story ends though. I was willing to take a backseat and continue to do my best to take care of myself even if everything wasn’t adding up. I expected that one day it would all work out for my good.

Things quickly took a turn though. The day after I received my preliminary biopsy results, I started having excruciating abdominal pain. It was a type of pain that I’ve never felt before that literally brought me to my knees. The pain was episodic and would dissipate after a few minutes. Honestly, I thought I had taken one too many bites of a food that causes flatulence until the pain returned at least three other times. I knew my body was trying to tell me something. I went to Urgent Care, and my doctor sent me to have a CT scan given the fact that I had had an intravenous procedure a few days before. Again, they found nothing, and I went home thanking God but also praying to God that the abdominal pain was a thing of the past. Unfortunately, that same night the pain returned. I spent the early morning hours sleeping on a bed in Urgent Care with my boyfriend at my side as an IV pumped pain medication in my body and we awaited the arrival of a technician to take an ultrasound of my abdomen in another attempt to determine what was causing the pain. You don’t know intimacy until you’ve had to share a twin-sized hospital bed with your significant other for four hours because you don’t want him to sleep in the chair that’s only made for temporary sitting. Somehow we managed to get some shut eye despite the beeping heart monitor and nurse station chatter outside the door. But, even after the ultrasound, they still couldn’t pinpoint the cause of my abdominal pain or find anything that demonstrated I may have been having complications as a result of the liver biopsy. I was sent home with instructions and pain meds.

Before we could even make it out of the building, I found myself in the restroom vomiting blood. That instantly changed the game. To make this long story short, I had to be transported to the hospital so doctors could perform a procedure called an arteriorgram to ensure one of my arteries or blood vessels hadn’t been punctured during my biopsy thus causing me to bleed internally. While this was a procedure my doctors could’ve performed in the outpatient setting where I had been all morning, they preferred that I was in a hospital in case there were any other issues. I didn’t want to go to the hospital of course, but I’m grateful to have had people around me who cared enough about me to do what was best. They were my “hidden halos”!

They found no internal bleeding during the procedure, and I stayed overnight for monitoring. Thankfully, my blood levels were stabilized and I was able to return home after one day. It all happened so fast that I’m still internalizing what I’ve been through yet I have a considerable amount of gratitude for everyone who took care of me, prayed for me, and checked on me. My KP physician team (Drs. Nguyen, Oh, Mathur, Camba, Brown, Truong, and Stone) demonstrated what it means to provide team-based, quality care, and I’m sincerely grateful for their professionalism and kindness. The KP nurses and technicians and the Holy Cross Hospital nurses (Nurse Terri, Tonya, and Lissa) were extremely patient and gentle. I know there were times when I probably wasn’t the nicest person (I was “hangry” and nauseous lol), and so I’m just thankful they didn’t take my frustration personally and made sure I was taken care of as directed. My boyfriend was my rock throughout this entire ordeal! I know I probably scared him, but I’m so very thankful for his comfort and love. My mom was right there as always in Mama Bear mode! Love you, Mom! To everyone who thought of me, I thank you for helping me to endure.

I can’t deny this was one experience in my life that created much anxiety. From the very beginning, I never knew what to make of it. But, I thank God for the unknown and the fact that I had no choice but to take everything in stride, because it reminded me Who is always in control. Ironically, I learned a song about three weeks ago by Mahalia Jackson called “If I Can Help Somebody.” The song says, “If I can help somebody, as I pass along, than my living shall not be in vain.” So, I tell this story hoping that I’ve helped someone to be brave enough to take whatever next step that’s needed to face your affliction head on. I made it out, so that you could make it to the best days of your life. Take charge and cherish your health, because it is definitely your wealth. As for me, I’m doing well and hoping my next encounter with the OR is on Thursday night at Seattle Grace.

That’s my best friend!

Hanging out with my BFL pre-biopsy

Well done, docs!

Gummi bears for the ride home! Shh…don’t tell.

Watching Law & Order from my hospital bed after the arteriogram.

All I had to eat for at least 24 hours was ice chips! I was so happy to see this jello and crackers!

Raising Requirements

January 17, 2016January 17, 2016Leave a comment

As we go through life, there will be many instances when people, circumstances, and our personal/professional roles will require us to do something. I mean let’s face it, there’s always something to be done somewhere for someone at some place. Typically, requirements that are set upon us can be good because they have a way of keeping us humble, responsible, and well perhaps…employed. But, there’s a small percentage of time where requirements can make us feel restrained, overwhelmed, annoyed, and glum. I believe these types of feelings emerge when we forget what we should require of ourselves. No one should go through life without a few personal requirements. And while I have your attention, I’ll share my short list of requirements that have helped me to dust myself off when too many remnants of opinions, frustrations, condescending comments, and disappointments have attempted to permanently settle in my mind and heart.

I am required to love myself in all things and at all times.
I am required to generate my own happiness.
I am required to spend time doing things that I really want to do and that make me feel alive.
I am required to be okay with saying no. Seriously, I dare you to try it.
I am required to trust in the beauty of the universe. Because once you’ve seen the miraculous happen for everrrrryone around you, there’s simply no way His majesty will miss me or you.

While my list may not exactly resemble yours, I assume that we’ll cross somewhere in the middle. Ultimately, when we raise a few requirements, we also raise the bar for the future we dream about. So, what are you raising?

Gift Small: Businesses That Bring Me Cheer

December 11, 2015December 11, 2015Leave a comment

The holidays are definitely upon us. The fresh smell of pine and evergreen makes my soul happy! Although I can do without the copious shopping ads I’m receiving in my inbox every hour, it’s beginning to feel and look a lot like Christmas!

Christmas to me is about honoring the birth of a Savior who is selfless, faithful, and loving even in this present day. His message encourages us all to live in a way where we can cheerfully give, uplift, and support the needs, dreams, and talents of others as best as we can. So, in the spirit of this season, I wanted to take a moment to highlight a few small businesses created by individuals who I can personally attest are thoughtful, gifted, and inspiring. I’ve patronized all of these businesses and believe in their vision as entrepreneurs and as givers to the communities in which they live and work. And while I don’t think that Christmas is all about Santa, presents, and reindeer sleighs, I do think that it’s an opportunity for us to show the small business owners we know and adore that we believe in their dreams and what they have to give back to the world. Together, we can build and spread wealth to our family, neighbors, strangers, and friends. I hope you will take some time to explore the businesses I’ve outlined below and what they have to offer. I’m proud of all of their accomplishments and look forward to what they’ll do next!

Happy Holidays to all!

Iyabo Alli, Accent Me
Iyabo is a woman of many talents and someone I have the pleasure of calling a dear friend. Somehow between her responsibilities as an engineer, health coach, and model, she also makes customized bracelets for her jewelry business. Each of her bracelets are unique to the individual(s) who will wear them because they are designed to represent personalities, promote unity within an organization, and/or bring awareness to a philanthropic, health, or social cause. I have no idea how many bracelets I have accumulated at this point, but one of my favorites is pictured below with minty green beads! To browse other designs and/or order a custom bracelet, you can like Iyabo’s Accentme Facebook page or contact her directly via e-mail.

Elaina & Alysia Bright, Skin Scholars
I still remember the day when Elaina & Alysia eagerly committed to this venture. Their zest for creating pure and fun products has not wavered. As sisters who love nature and value the authenticity of ingredients in their rawest form, it’s no surprise that they have developed a skin care line made only with what your skin needs. I’m a regular user of the The Healer Salve and the limited edition Gingerbread Body Polish. Both of these products have helped to keep my skin supple and moisturized and are gentle enough for daily use. There are a variety of other products to choose from that make perfect gifts for family and friends. You can check out Skin Scholars at the Arlington Holiday Bazaar this Saturday, December 12th or order online at any time on their website or Etsy shop.

Kimery Williams, LeMark Photography
As an event planner and my particular love for visual curators of all kinds, I’m always scouting for uniquely skilled, personable photographers. Taking a photo is so much more than pressing the shutter button on a camera. To properly capture the creative and emotive essence of people and events, you must be able to genuinely connect to those from all walks of life, adapt to distinctive qualities of individuals and environments, exercise a considerable amount of patience no matter the client or situation, and quickly negotiate postures and props for a quality photo. Kimery does all of this very well and with an exceptional level of professionalism, which I think is partially attributed to his studies and work as a soon to be criminal defense attorney. I had the pleasure of working with him for a personal photo shoot this year that was relaxed, delightful, and even educational. It has also been exciting to see the results of his shoots with several of my other friends and colleagues. To view his portfolio and schedule a session for you or someone you love, you can visit his website.

Room to ReInvent

November 30, 2015December 1, 20152 Comments

I’ve waited for this day for quite some time. I can’t even begin to tell you how many nights, hours, conversations, tears, and “yes!” moments have gotten me to this day…a day of reinvention…for the website you’re currently reading right now! My web journey started about eight years ago with my first blog. At that time, I was just beginning to understand my gift with words, and as the years progressed I began to spend more time sharing my thoughts and life experiences in this open forum. But, it wasn’t until I graduated college and transitioned to a full-time working adult trying to juggle rent, bills, relationships, spirituality, morals, family, and other miscellaneous happenings that I began to value my love for writing. I would sit down after a long day of Metro riding, paper shuffling, and clock punching just wondering if somehow my purpose was linked to writing.

Writing has always given me a sense of peace and accomplishment, and even when the subject matter may not have necessarily been my favorite, it’s something that I’ve been able to do with ease. And for half my life (well, maybe not half, but a VERY long time), I’ve awakened to the miracle of each day wanting to become an author. So, knowing the amount of time and commitment writing a book can take, I decided a couple years ago that I would use my blog as the bridge to help me develop a manuscript. While the book is still a work in progress, I’ve expanded my gift in so many ways since the start of my blog. I’ve served as a writer for my church magazine, developed and managed content for websites, and published academic research papers.

All of these opportunities helped me to grow in my gift as a writer, but it also kindled a new interest in improving the layout of my blog through the creation of a more visually appealing website. I’d love to tell you that this has been an easy process for me that I made happen overnight, but that would be a flat out lie. I don’t know the first thing about web development, HTML, domains, or anything remotely related to these things, so of course I asked others for help (more on that later). Although there are a ton of website builders out there to help you customize your own site, it just wasn’t coming together for me. I’d figure one thing out, and then hit a brick wall with something else. I procrastinated (yes, me…I procrastinated) for the longest about this site because I felt stuck, inadequate, and not prepared to take on such a task as this even with help! In short, I almost let it get the best of me. But, at some point, you get tired of being tired. And I wasn’t going to let this particular goal spill over to another “new year, new me” to do list any longer. I decided to release the doubt and fear of not getting things perfect and just do it! I particularly pressed my way over the last few weeks to learn web lingo, code (I am still very much the amateur), linking, and more. Shout out to Google because I searched it ALL!

The good part about all of this is that the small steps I have taken in recent years to redesign my blog paid off tremendously, including making a sketch for the design and content, registering a personal domain, and having my first professional photography session. My lesson in this entire experience is twofold – 1) watch what you tell yourself, because if you think you can’t do something, you will not do it. You will find something else to do instead only to be drawn back to what you’ve always known you were meant to do 2) give yourself a chance. I almost gave up on this site, which ultimately means I almost gave up on my dream. There are still some things I would like to further customize, but I’ve learned that you don’t have to get it all right the first time.

I’m proud of myself for sticking to my commitment to enhance the user experience of my site, because in the end, my goal has always been to display my words in a way that inspires. On my new site, you will find a few of my older blog posts, but going forward there will be new posts about my life lessons, event/gift design, and travels presented on their respective pages. I’ve also decided to transition one of the recent additions to my writings titled “Monday’s Mantra” where every Monday I post a principle or motto I strive to live by in order to start the week off in what I call a “Friday mindset.” Mondays get a bad wrap, lol.

I am sincerely grateful to several people for their talents, services, assistance, and advice for helping me through this long but rewarding process. To Mom, B. Goodman, C. Campbell, A. Ranjan, Altimese Nichole, Bosch Studios Photography, LeMark Photography, and all of my supporters, THANK YOU! All of you have made an investment in my dream, and I’m so appreciative. And to my boo/”BFL,” thank you for being there to hold me accountable, staging photos, and listening to me vent about it all.

To everyone who has followed my writing then and now, thank you. I hope my reinvention births new hopes, ideals, and perspectives in your lives.

Cake Notes

July 22, 2015November 24, 2015Leave a comment

Today I embark on a new decade of life. Wowzers! It’s funny how time accelerates once you surpass your teenager years. I feel like I just turned 16 and earned the privilege to drive! It’s certainly a blessing to even have the opportunity to still be present in mind, body, and spirit and able to look back on the last 30 years of my life. Thirty…I don’t know why that sounds strangely scary but cool. I can say the last ten years in particular have been the ultimate learning experience and have equipped me with lessons and wisdom that I know will carry me into the greater years of my life. As I close the chapter on my twenties, I’ve decided to document what I call the “30 notes of insightful necessity” and represent everything I would tell my 20-something year old self if I could go back in time. I know one of the most compelling things about life is that any lesson you’ve truly embraced will continue to bear weight in the way you flourish in the years to come. I also know that somewhere there’s a 20-something year old who could benefit from my abridged handbook of written experience. So, even as I celebrate my birthday, I’m giving thirty little gifts that I hope will keep giving…

Things are always better in the morning. Fresh perspective will meet you when you awaken to a new day of sunshine.
Never over compromise. You should not have to sell yourself short to make up for someone else’s inability to rise to the occasion.
Make a plan but don’t expect that your plan will always get followed. A little deviation breaks the monotony and adds the spice to the details.
Bend but don’t break. There will be times when you’ll have to be strong and amenable to change. And it will never be convenient.
Don’t believe everything you see on the Internet or TV. Social media included. In fact, minimize the noise and read a book. It’ll take you places and sharpen your intellect. Two for one special.
Do everything you can to not compare your life to everyone around you. Most people will give you the glitz and leave out the struggle.
Believe that everyone you encounter crossed your path for a reason. Don’t dismiss the purpose in the connection. God moves through people.
Expect to be perplexed about what you want to be when you grow up even after graduation. You’re not experiencing a crisis, but instead a process. It’s called life.
Always be kind to others. It’s not easy being the bigger person, but you’re too good to behave as if you’re so uncouth.
Always be kind to yourself. The quickest way to obliterate a jovial, expecting spirit is to diminish your own light with irrational criticism. Stop it!
Don’t settle. Period.
Buy the shoes. Your size won’t be there next week. (Hi Mom!)
Protect your thoughts. Your mind is the gateway to your heart and the lifeline to your dreams.
Save and spend wisely. The way you handle your resources will determine the quality of your life.
Go somewhere as often as your finances and responsibilities will allow. You find your greatest loves and what you’re truly made of outside of your usual geographic boundaries.
Believe in the fairy tales for your life too. If they can happen for them, they can happen for you.
Be there. Recognize the power in your physical presence. The material things pass away.
Life is not a competition. Someone will always be better and ahead of you. But, you still have something that someone needs.
Your gifts are not meant to be exploited. Use them to genuinely help others, but also maximize opportunities to leverage your purpose.
Go to the doctor. Eating an apple will not suffice.
In the same vein, examine your tatas and get them fitted. Breast cancer is very much prevalent in women of all races, and early detection is key. Plus, a professional bra fitting will ensure they always look like they’re having a good day.
Set and keep boundaries. We all have free will, but you live more abundantly when you can effectively navigate relationships and circumstances based on what you know you will or will not accept.
Just be. Real growth and insight is birthed from the moments when you pause. You don’t have to be everywhere all the time.
Get comfortable with saying “no.” Just like you can’t be everywhere all the time, you also can’t do everything all the time. And truthfully, sometimes you just won’t want to. And avoid the explanation. Nobody really wants to hear it, and your answer is still “no.”
Keep an open mind. Knowledge, creativity, and innovation is at your fingertips. You still have much to learn.
Call your grandparents. They have two precious things money can’t buy—wisdom and unforgettable anecdotes. (Hi Nana! I promise to never take wooden nickels!)
Wait your turn. You’ll reach the destination at your appointed time.
Go with your gut. Apprehension is usually God’s way of telling you to yield.
Don’t let other people’s opinions, preferences, ideals, or desires to speed through life interrupt your zen. It’s just not that serious.
In everything you do, be at peace with yourself. You know you better than anyone else, and what you believe about yourself will always take precedence.

Here’s to 30 more years of unwrapping…

Closet Chronicles

June 2, 2015November 24, 2015Leave a comment

I’ve always wanted a walk-in closet. The idea of having more space to store and organize my latest bargains has always seemed pretty electrifying (yes, I shop from the sales rack and hunt for the cute blouses at Target!). Plus, it would mean I had a reason to buy more wooden hangers from IKEA that I could use to meticulously line blouses and skirts from light to dark (because wire hangers are only meant to be used when you’re bringing clothes home from the cleaners and a color-coded wardrobe is something like a necessity). Over the years, God has blessed me with several walk-in closets (not in the same house of course…I’m still working my way to Carrie Bradshaw closet status). And while I’m nowhere near a shopaholic, I can say that I’ve managed to accumulate a variety of style options for my wearing pleasure. But, never did I suspect I’d find a little wisdom in my wool with a side of peace in my polyester.

There was a time in my life where I would spend a significant part of my evenings trying to figure out what I was going to wear the next day. I would literally stand in my closet and stare at the multitude of patterns with angst. How could someone with so many options never have anything to wear? It always seemed like such a small thing that could easily be handled, but yet the outfits just weren’t coming together. The thought of obsessing over something so trivial became tiresome and old very quickly. I was at a stage in my life where I was no longer going to be consumed by anything that detracted from my positive energy. I figured since I was putting that concept into practice in all other areas of my life, why wouldn’t it be applicable for fashion too? So, one day I simply stopped planning and set my closet before God. For those who are structured, organized, and always looking for ways to maximize time, this probably sounds…well…different. It was difficult for me to put this into action because I’d spent so much of my life worrying about things that honestly didn’t increase my success by leaps and bounds but instead made me more anxious. The moment when I decided I was going to let God take control of even the simplest decisions like florals or stripes, I could really just let go and live. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve planned an outfit the night before. I literally wake up every morning and I get the vision for what I’m going to wear. I feel like I have a personal, anointed stylist who just waits for me to wake up and walk into what He has designed for the day (waves hands…I feel another post coming on from that point!).

The lesson in all of this is that it’s so easy to try to plan everything about life and think that God has no interest in the small things. But, any time you fully commit your cares and concerns to God, you’ll never turn up void. So, whether you have to surrender your wardrobe, your career, your fitness plan, your relationships, or your grocery list to Him, you can rest assured knowing He is committed to taking care of all things…even what you consider to be the small things. For if you can let go of the small things, you make room in your closet and your life for bigger things.